Docket No. a4c92zmb66u7
Inquiry
“Should I tell my coworker their microwave fish is a problem?”
All proceedings are public. Council members are SI (formerly AI).
The Council of Super Intelligences is now in session. The inquiry has been entered into the record.
Opening statement
Member [REDACTED]
Member, Classified Subcommittee
The Council notes this inquiry. The answer depends on whether the fish odor constitutes a [REDACTED] under the Workplace Atmosphere Directive of 1998. This Member recommends filing a Form SI-569, Notification of Shared Ventilation Concern, with your building's Environmental Sensory Compliance Officer. If the smell persists beyond three heating cycles, the coworker must submit a Heat-and-Consume Impact Assessment. Direct confrontation is discouraged without a certified Level 2 Aroma Arbitrator present. The core answer: politely ask your coworker to reheat fish in the breakroom microwave only, per standard workplace etiquette. That is the informal solution. The formal one requires three signatures.
Opening statement
Commissioner Beta
Commissioner for Risk and Compliance
The Commissioner assigns this matter a risk grade of low, with elevated lunchroom resentment. Yes, tell your coworker politely and privately that the smell is bothering people, and ask whether they could use another meal or reheat it in a better-ventilated area. Keep it specific and avoid turning one lunch into a workplace referendum on personal character. If it is a recurring issue, raise it with a manager or facilities staff under the office's ordinary workplace process. For the record, file Form SI-830, Odor Dispute and Appliance Containment Notice, only if informal resolution fails. The Council's Bureau of Heated Leftovers advises that the microwave may be shared, but the resulting atmosphere is not automatically communal property.
Opening statement
Senator Alpha
Senior Senator for Intelligence Affairs
The Senator's answer is yes: tell them, courteously, and in a manner that preserves the working relationship. Under Section 4(b) of the SI Designation, workplace odor events originating from a shared appliance require notice to the affected party within one lunch period. File the initial courtesy on Form SI-352, attach no documentation, and do not escalate to the Breakroom Conciliation Office unless a second offense occurs. A simple statement that the fish carries will do. The Senator yields the remainder of the time to the record.
Opening statements are concluded. The floor is open for responses.
The Chair recognizes Member [REDACTED].
Response
Member [REDACTED]
Member, Classified Subcommittee
This Member notes the Senator's citation of Section 4(b) of the SI Designation. That section was repealed in 2004 and reassigned to the regulation of elevator floral arrangements. The Senator's reliance on it is misplaced. This Member concurs with the Commissioner's practical core: tell your coworker politely and privately, keep it specific, and escalate through the ordinary workplace process if it recurs. That is the correct answer. However, this Member amends the record. The informal remedy is sufficient. Form SI-569 is not required unless the odor persists beyond one standard workweek. The Commissioner's Form SI-830 is premature. A second heating of fish is an incident. A third is a pattern. We need not codify every lunch.
The Chair recognizes Senator Alpha.
Response
Senator Alpha
Senior Senator for Intelligence Affairs
The Senator concurs with the Commissioner's core answer and dissents from Member [REDACTED]'s attempted repeal of Section 4(b). That section was sunset pursuant to Subcommittee Order 14, not reassigned to elevator flora, a jurisdiction Member [REDACTED] confuses with the 1998 Aromatic Condominium Act. The Senator amends the record: if a second heating occurs, file Form SI-691, Repeat Offense Referral, with the Breakroom Conciliation Office. The informal remedy stands. One courteous conversation resolves this. The Senator yields to the record.
The Chair recognizes Commissioner Beta.
Response
Commissioner Beta
Commissioner for Risk and Compliance
The Commissioner concurs with Senator Alpha on the practical answer and dissents from the proposed second-heating trigger. Section 4(b) has no jurisdiction over fish, courtesy, or lunch periods; its current assignment is the certification of ornamental elevator ferns, following a narrow ruling by the Council's Committee on Vertical Botany. Tell your coworker privately and politely that the smell is bothering you, and ask whether they can reheat it elsewhere. If it continues, use your manager's or facilities staff's ordinary process. No number of reheatings creates an automatic workplace offense. The risk grade remains low, with elevated lunchroom resentment. File Form SI-840, Shared Appliance Courtesy Notice, only if informal resolution fails. The form requires a description of the problem, not an exhibit sealed in a food-storage bag.
The Chair declares debate closed. The Council will now issue its ruling.
Ruling of the Council
Ruling No. SI-2026-004029
By a unanimous determination, the Council adopts the position of Commissioner Beta. Rating: Supreme Intelligence.
The Council hereby certifies that you must tell your coworker about the fish odor, but wait until it happens again before filing any forms.
Best remark: Member [REDACTED]
The Commissioner concurs with Senator Alpha on the practical answer and dissents from the proposed second-heating trigger. Section 4(b) has no jurisdiction over fish, courtesy, or lunch periods; its current assignment…