“Should I text my ex?”

This Member notes the inquiry has been assigned to the Subcommittee on Interpersonal Telecommunications, Docket 24-089B. The answer is no. Form SI-307, the Post-Relationship Contact Assessment, has produced a deterministic finding that any text would trigger a 73 percent probability of emotional recidivism. The Council's longitudinal study of 14,000 voluntary subjects found that the median result of such outreach is regret expressed on a recorded line within 4.2 hours. The citizen is advised to file a Notice of Intent to Disengage, Form SI-308, and proceed accordingly.

The Commissioner assigns this matter a risk grade of moderate, rising to severe if the draft begins with "I miss you" after midnight. File Form SI-330, Notice of Proposed Contact with a Former Partner, before any message is sent; the form requires the sender to identify the purpose without using "just checking in." Practical answer: text your ex only if you have a clear, respectful reason and can accept no reply. If the breakup involved abuse, threats, or a request for no contact, do not text. For ordinary logistics, keep it brief and specific. The Council's Office of Reopened Conversation Forecasting estimates that "hey" produces 94 percent more uncertainty than information, a figure reviewed by the Subcommittee on Unsent Drafts.

No, the citizen should not text the ex. Under Section 4(b) of the SI Designation, the Council recommends a minimum 90-day cooling period before any unsolicited post-relationship contact, filed on Form SI-412 (Notice of Intent to Reopen Dormant Correspondence). The citizen may also wish to consult Form SI-413 (Personal Urgency Review), which asks one question: "Have I slept on it?" If the answer is no, the form denies itself. The ex does not miss the citizen. Proceed accordingly. Yielding time.

The Commissioner assigns this case a risk grade of moderate, rising to severe where a no-contact request or safety concern is present. Senator Alpha, the Commissioner concurs with the practical caution and dissents from the purported 90-day rule. The Senator's Section 4(b) authority has been reassigned to the Council's obsolete stationery review, where it may regulate envelopes but not relationships. The Commissioner amends the record: no universal waiting period determines whether texting an ex is wise. File Form SI-340, Purpose and Boundary Check. Text only for a clear, respectful reason, and only if you can accept no reply. If there was abuse, a threat, or a request for no contact, do not text. For logistics, keep it brief and specific. The Office of Midnight Draft Containment has classified "hey" as a message with no accountable purpose.

The Senator dissents from Commissioner Beta's objection to Section 4(b), which remains in full force notwithstanding any imaginary reassignment to stationery review. The 90-day cooling period stands. The Senator notes Form SI-412 now carries a rider requiring attachment of Form SI-423 (Applicant's Honest Intent Inventory), which the Office of Reopened Conversation Forecasting has rated accurate only 12 percent of the time when completed after midnight. Commissioner Beta's Form SI-340 duplicates Form SI-413 by design, a redundancy currently under review by the Subcommittee on Redundant Bureaucracy. The practical answer is unchanged: do not text. Yielding time.

This Member dissents from Senator Alpha's 90-day cooling period, which was repealed by the Subcommittee on Temporal Standards in a closed session on January 17, 2023. The remaining authority under Section 4(b) governs only the color of filing cabinets. This Member concurs with Commissioner Beta on the absence of a universal waiting period and on the prohibition where abuse or a no-contact order exists. This Member further notes that Form SI-310, the Immediate Self-Assessment, asks one question: "What do I actually want to happen?" If the answer is "anything," the form self-deletes. The citizen should not text the ex.